Learn more about the breakthrough method to befriend your inner child and bringing out your authentic self to find happiness


Concept & Approach

In my 30 years of work as a psychotherapist, I have repeatedly observed how people’s self-image plays a vital role in all their relationships. It determines the way they view other people and how they behave towards them.

The epicenter of everything is self-esteem. It is the source and nourishment of our psychological resources.

In my experience, all psychological issues follow a clear underlying structure: the cause of any problem that one has with oneself or with others is based on that person’s perception of reality.


The ways in which we perceive ourselves and the world are strongly influenced by our childhood experiences. We do not consciously remember many of these experiences, yet they are deeply buried in the unconscious and shape our personality. These childhood imprints – both positive and negative – are known in psychology as the ‘inner child.’ On the unconscious level, our ‘inner child’ has a vital influence on our self-image and our perceptions.

Beliefs arise during childhood and have long-lasting effects on our self-image.

Here is an example. If a young woman – let’s call her Sara – thinks about herself ‘Im not good enough, I’m inadequate,’ she will often see other people as being superior to her. The fact that she feels inferior will have far-reaching implications for the way she creates her relationships. The fear of being rejected by other people because of her perceived inferiority will have a considerable impact on her personal experiences, motivating her to do particular things or making her avoid having to do certain things.


Sara’s beliefs of ‘I am not enough’ and ‘I am inferior’ define her self-esteem and affect how she manages her life and relationships. She makes determined efforts to live up to expectations. She wants to have everything under control. She strives for perfection, and is slim, stylish, and professionally quite successful. But she rarely feels that she is being who she truly is and lives in the constant fear that others might notice how inadequate she really is.


But where does this deeply rooted belief come from?


In Sara’s case, her ‘beliefs’ and the resulting self-preservation strategies (striving for perfection and control) are due to unhealthy formative influences in her childhood. 


Sara’s parents – in their good intentions to support her – set narrow boundaries for her and often criticized her. This has resulted in Sara’s belief that she is inadequate. Her mind has been programmed that she must work hard to please other people. This presumed certainty functions like a kind of lens through which Sara perceives herself and the world.


What others say about the concept

It is important to bear in mind that this inner programming is arbitrary. It has nothing to do with Sara herself. If Sara’s parents had handled her differently, she would have internalized different beliefs. Each of us has undergone a particular programming in our childhood. We’ve all developed particular beliefs that have molded and still influence our inner child.

In every human there is a shadow child. The shadow child embodies our problematic imprinted programming.

In my approach I distinguish between the shadow child and the sun child.

The Shadow Child

The shadow child embodies our problematic imprinted characteristics: the negative beliefs and the resultant burdensome emotions.

The Sun Child

The sun child represents the positive aspects of what we have gotten from our parents. It’s a metaphor for the intact part of our self-esteem.

The shadow child embodies our problematic imprinted characteristics: the negative beliefs and the resultant burdensome emotions that affect our psyche on an unconscious level.


The adult ego, in contrast, is the psychic entity that incorporates our rational mind. The adult ego acts consciously and is capable of regulating the inner child. Though some people can use their adult ego to accurately reflect on their negative imprinted characteristics, this is not sufficient for them to release themselves from their old, deep-seated programming.


The sun child represents the positive aspects of what we have gotten from our parents. It’s a metaphor for the intact part of our self-esteem.


In my work as a therapist, the sun child – and this is quite important – is also a symbol for everything that we ourselves can reshape as adults.

When you understand the structure of your own personality, you can resolve problems that seemed intractable before.

Many people fear that a therapy is time-consuming and painful. In my psychotherapeutic work I take the approach that it is by no means essential to completely come to terms with one’s childhood and to process all the inner wounds. On the contrary, this could even be counterproductive, because the mind might focus more and more on the negative experiences.


It is entirely adequate to understand the common thread, that is, to develop a basic understanding of the imprint you have experienced. In Sara’s case, for example, she is aware that she harbors a shadow child within her plagued by many self-doubts as a consequence of the severity of her parents.

In my book The Child in You Must Find Home I explain how to become acquainted with your shadow child, how to identify your negative beliefs, how to reinforce your adult ego, and how to come into contact with the sun child.


You will get an initial impression of this in the DOWNLOADS section.

The child in you

The breakthrough million-copy international bestseller about how to befriend your inner child to find happiness

“A thousand thanks for this simplified path to discovering your inner child. I have used this therapeutic model in my practice to excellent results. In fact, in a recent seminar, a 73-year-old man broke out in tears and stammered: ‘All of my major life decisions are becoming clear to me now.’ He put his wife’s hand over his own, clutched both to his heart, and promised his inner child: ‘I will heal us before our life on earth is over.’ ”
– Hilde Wiemann, Certified Family and Relationship Coach

Contact us

Keep in touch

If you’d like to chat about my work, get more news or learn how to integrate the concepts into your life, get in touch!